The Verbal D

Let’s make up a backstory for Gym Crush!

bowlingalleylawyer:

theverbald:

bowlingalleylawyer:

theverbald:

bowlingalleylawyer:

clarityunfiltered:

bowlingalleylawyer:

(this is how bored and obsessed I have become)

We know his name is C. Ryan. He works out at lunch every day. He drives a new Mercedes (the 2 door, way expensive kind). He has New Jersey tags. He’s a big beefy dude.

I can’t even begin to pick a job for him… or how he ended up in Wilmington, NC from Jersey….

Maybe he was in the mob in Jersey, and he’s on the run.

yesss! that’s why he’s very side-eye.
He’s running the new chic pasta joint that just opened up downtown as a cover….

he’s working for a consulting company, probs. and he’s going to go for his MBA in a year, so when given the opportunity to work on the beach he said “fo sho!” (literally). but he’s brilliant and sensitive, so that shatters all stereotypes.

but back to the stereotype… he tans! HA! that’s how I found out his name (we have to sign in for the tanning booths and he signed in right before me). BUT- no highlights. His hair is almost high and tight- like military. Ooooo… more intrigue!

oh man. that doesn’t shatter the stereotype; that enhances it. and i bet he *loves* his nieces and nephews. maybe he reads pahlinuik (outside of fight club of course). that might save him…

yeah I pictured him as part of some big Italian family, but the last name is Irish. I’m gonna go with the big family still and the loving all his nieces and nephews… it would make his fitting in with my whacky family so much easier.

BUT- he’s so much awesome… how is it he is single? I’d guess his age to be early to mid 30’s. No wedding band, of course.

okay, so irish last name = good.  (just guess my irish name.)  anyway, since you say he’s not guido-ish, and his tan is less virulent than yours, and he may have stepped right out of burn notice (or special ops), he sounds interesting.  the next test, to see whether he’s worthy of you or not, is to determine whether or not he’s funny.  i don’t think gym whoopee cushions are appropriate… so, let’s come up w/ a plan.