March 2010
11 posts
BLOGGING via TYPEWRITER.: Jon Stewart explains... →
Jon Stewart, the corporation, wants a million dollars.
Jon Stewart has a 1984 Volvo “with a Pioneer tape deck” as collateral.
Jon Stewart calls his “ratings agency,” who says his “piece of shit Volvo” is worth “two and a half, three million bucks.”
Jon Stewart uses his Volvo to borrow $1…
yep.
I will do just about everything except for the chores I schedule for myself. Thus: cleaning out the closet ends up being washing sheets and towels. Le Sigh.
Setting an Example for the Children
mattchew03:
This letter was sent Sunday by Detroit Public Schools board President Otis Mathis to his supporters, protesting that the Mark Twain school was closed in favor of the Boynton school.
Good Evening,
If you saw Sunday’s Free Press that shown Robert Bobb the emergency financial manager for Detroit Public Schools, move Mark Twain to Boynton which have three times the number seats then...
“Why can’t I go to the Supreme Court and sit there with a gun and listen to the...”
– Chicago Mayor Richard Daley on the likely overturn of Chicago’s 28 year old handgun ban by the SCOTUS. More from the Sun-Times
(via absurdlakefront/bnf)
(via tylercoates)
Unemployment benefit #459
Jeopardy is on at 3:30 pm here in Chicago, so when I’m working I don’t get to watch it. Also, I can make people in other tv markets look smarter than they are by telling them the answer to final jeopardy.
VOTE YES, VOTE YES, PLEASE GOD, VOTE YES! →
notthatkindagay:
rosasparks: notthatkindagay:
This is my hometown newspaper. They’re currently running a poll asking “Should Maryland’s state agencies recognize out-of-state gay marriages, as [the AG] said it should in a legal opinion?”
CURRENTLY (10AM ON 3/2) THE RESULTS ARE:
Yes: 31% No: 69%
Please go vote yes! It’s about half way down the page on the right side. :-) The Times-News...
Chicago Details
thinnerthoughts:
June 10 - June 14th
I went with Spirit Airlines. I am part of the $9 fare club which is why it was only $167.
I am really excited.
If you live in Chicago - I want to meet you. Tumblr meetup!!!!!
There are so many fun things going on that weekend!
The Cubs play the Sox at Wrigley!
It’s the Blues Festival.
And I’m sure that there will be some really great shows...
“I would change the President, the Congress and the Senate.”
– Mitt Romney on changing 3 things about the United States government if he were President. (The View)
June 2009
3 posts
trivia question 2
What do the following countries have in common:
Uganda
Afghanistan
Serbia
Austria
Laos
Nepal
So i came up w/ like 20 different commonalities, here are some:
they all have the letter “a” in their name.
they’re all from the supercontinent Pangea
they all have mountains
they all have been invaded
After asking for clarification, the clue was...
trivia question
okay, so i play trivia on tuesdays. tonight they asked “what is the distance from the foul line to the backboard in basketball.” i was once told that the measurement is from the middle of the basket, and thus = 15 feet. so the backboard to me, has to be 16 feet. i was wrong, according to the trivia dude. why would someone tell me this previously incorrect answer? where is the...
i’m actually pretty proud that i have a tumblarity of 0. no expectations baby!
i think think this changes if i post, but whatevs. i’ve never blogged for popularity, and if you look at my archives, you can see why.
May 2009
11 posts
Blergh.
bowlingalleylawyer:
thinnerthoughts:
Thanks BAL. I appreciate your words of wisdom. And ugh I want to throat punch your ex. How rude.
What made you stay there instead of move back closer with your fam?
I’ve moved enough for one lifetime. I am done and I like it here. I live about a mile from the ex and we work a block from each other. I see either him or his father every day when I go to...
“Do you want to reject the new law that lets same-sex couples marry and allows...”
– Maine drafts gay marriage ballot question
Maine has something called “the people’s veto” where the public can petition for a vote on legislation recently passed by the legislature to either affirm or reject it.
This is the language. Would you vote no?
(via notthatkindagay)
There is a serious...
“One way to understand social-networking sites like Facebook and MySpace is to...”
– Sasha Frere Jones in The New Yorker (via somethingchanged)
I'm craving mashed taters.
bowlingalleylawyer:
I think cos they are such a comfort food to me.
I still have no idea what’s wrong with me, but I think a Xanax is in order. I never ever take them. Haven’t had once since… Feb I think. But tonight, tonight I may be due.
at first glance, i thought the title was “i’m craving mashed tears.”
guess who has two thumbs and signed up for a writing class at second city?? THIS LADY!!!!
a dude i knew in college is famous →
no. no i did not google “how to tell if a guy likes you” and ten variations thereof tonight. what do you think i am? a loser?
fine.
guilty. as. charged.
April 2009
5 posts
The World's Greatest Lie
“Everyone believes the world’s greatest lie…” says the mysterious old man. “What is the world’s greatest lie?” the little boy asks. The old man replies, “It’s this: that at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what’s happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That’s the world’s greatest lie.”
crap dudes
1. i am drunk.
2. i freaking HATE this woman i work with
3. i don’t hate my job. granted, the work i do is mindless, easy, and quantitatively over-paid, but i don’t think i’m personally overpaid.
4. it really infuriates me that i make what i do when a monkey could get equal results.
5. it really infuriates me that i can’t do more with my skills and be paid for...
double edged sword
when i was sans computer (and therefore internets) i went to bed early and hit the gym, but felt like i was totally missing out on the things i wanted to know.
now that i have a new laptop (and therefore internets) i am up super late, and can’t seem to get to bed at a reasonable hour, which means that i don’t work out, and frankly i didn’t even bother to eat dinner tonight.
...
i refuse to buy books that have the movie cover....
lawful:
bowlingalleylawyer:
shebs:
enjoli:
hurricane-k:
missworld:
libbylovesnyc:
hautelikecouture:cadyheron:(via vforvelociraptor)
I’m glad I’m not the only snob who does this. I don’t even like the “Oprah’s book club” stickers on mine.
Me too. I regret that my copy of Frida Kahlo’s bio has Salma Hayek on the front and I plan to replace that shizz.
I resent books with movie...
Sad. →
March 2009
23 posts
BAL, we gotta figure this out
bowlingalleylawyer:
clarityunfiltered:
bowlingalleylawyer:
tumblevision:
Figure out some exercises that will get his attention. Not meaning you should stick your butt in his face, but do something challenging or technical, like core & balance exercises. Maybe there’s an opportunity to work in with him on a machine. Or for him to spot you on something.
oh I’ve managed the “pose” a few...
Let's make up a backstory for Gym Crush!
bowlingalleylawyer:
theverbald:
okay, so irish last name = good. (just guess my irish name.) anyway, since you say he’s not guido-ish, and his tan is less virulent than yours, and he may have stepped right out of burn notice (or special ops), he sounds interesting. the next test, to see whether he’s worthy of you or not, is to determine whether or not he’s funny. i don’t think gym whoopee...
Let's make up a backstory for Gym Crush!
bowlingalleylawyer:
theverbald:
bowlingalleylawyer:
theverbald:
bowlingalleylawyer:
clarityunfiltered:
bowlingalleylawyer:
(this is how bored and obsessed I have become)
We know his name is C. Ryan. He works out at lunch every day. He drives a new Mercedes (the 2 door, way expensive kind). He has New Jersey tags. He’s a big beefy dude.
I can’t even begin to pick a job for him… or...
it's a job, not a career, Right?
me: omg. i hate my life
T: why?
me: i've been doing this doc review project now since jan right? which is good, b/c it means that i'm employed
T: yes?
me: but, aside from the lack of internet, and the arbitrary "punishments" for other people's actions and the people employing us stating that we're worth less than chairs
.... i work w/ this woman named thelma, whom i just want to punch.
she's just so inane
and sigh
did i ever tell you about danis? from when i was in PA?
T: Umm.. I'm not sure if you have.
me: she's like danis, but worse
and the best/worst part is that this week they authorized overtime. so, that's good, b/c it means that i can make like 1800 a week. which, is awesome. but the more time i spend with this woman i just want to die. or kill her
plus -- the work sucks.
like, all you do is click "responsive" or "not responsive" and if responsive "privileged" or "not privileged" and some level of confidentiality
T: what exactly do you do?
me: i look at electronic documents, and mark them according to whether or not they have to be turned over to the other side, and under what conditions they get turned over. but it's first level review. so it's not all that complicated, and involves absolutely no skill. at the level i'm at, if i mess up, there are like 10 people above me that will catch it.
anyway, so this woman, thelma is like 65 and she has a voice that's kind of low, and sounds like she needs to hawk a loogie, and she talks slowly. so like every 15 mins she just blurts out, to no one in general things like "what is divx?" "has anyone seen 'who killed the electric car?'" "is this responsive?" and my favorite "i'm going to do something with this"
me: jesus fucking christ woman just fucking click something and shut the fuck up
(btw, thank you for letting me rant)
but the worst part about thelma, is that she also has to opine about EVERYTHING. and her drone is loud enough to cancel out other people's conversations. and she never lets anyone else talk
me: so if i'm having a conversation w/ someone, she'll butt in even though my compatriot was in the middle of a sentence. and any addition to the conversation is inane. and if not inane, it's just patently untrue. so i sit in my chair gesticulating wildly.
T: holy shit...
me: b/c i can't hear who i want to hear, and because i have to hear her,
T: your job sounds so much worse than mine.
me: t -- i hate it
last week i came home in tears b/c of the chair thing
T: any leads on something substantial?
me: (which really was worse than explained)
kind of
i may get a call from [a consulting company]
and i may have another interview w/ [a health care system] in their legal dept
b/c the advocacy position didn't pan out b/c the svp of marketing is an idiot. but, no matter what, i'm goign to be stuck w/ this for at least 3 weeks (unless it ends)
T: So, it sounds like you should be out having a drink... especially since it's St. Patrick's day.
although, I imagine it's crazy out there?
me: i'm having a drink here well, i'm on my second. i plan on getting drunk by 10:30 and going to bed. i have to erase the day
T: that sounds like a fine plan.
me: t, it's awful. i'm going to spend 11 hrs a day w/ this woman. well, unless i get lucky and she doesn't take the overtime. but she complains about her back. the worst was yesterday when we got the email about overtime. i was like "what's the next income bracket? i need to figure out when it isn't beneficial to go for the overtime" so like 10 of us are sitting there figuring out what is the optimal time to work so that we dont' jump into the next tax bracket and lose the immediate cash.
me: (because even though we'd get it back next year, they'd tax us on it now) and she'd just drone on "i'm not taking it" and "well, my back hurts" and "you'll get it back" and i was like "yeah, but i don't want to wait.... " and she wouldn't stop saying, "but you'll get it back"
T: lol.. did you slap her? ;)
me: no, but it's getting harder every day for me to not lay the verbal smackdown on her.
you know, the one where i snipe at her very soul and reduce her to a weepy mess
Let's make up a backstory for Gym Crush!
bowlingalleylawyer:
theverbald:
bowlingalleylawyer:
clarityunfiltered:
bowlingalleylawyer:
(this is how bored and obsessed I have become)
We know his name is C. Ryan. He works out at lunch every day. He drives a new Mercedes (the 2 door, way expensive kind). He has New Jersey tags. He’s a big beefy dude.
I can’t even begin to pick a job for him… or how he ended up in Wilmington, NC...
“Evolved individuals know that people who are not intuitive can be dangerous to...”
– Lao Tzu (via swissmiss : carolynannahall) (via supernice) (via somethingchanged)
omg you guys… (again) …. maybe this is why i hate that woman i work with. she’s just not evolved.
Let's make up a backstory for Gym Crush!
bowlingalleylawyer:
clarityunfiltered:
bowlingalleylawyer:
(this is how bored and obsessed I have become)
We know his name is C. Ryan. He works out at lunch every day. He drives a new Mercedes (the 2 door, way expensive kind). He has New Jersey tags. He’s a big beefy dude.
I can’t even begin to pick a job for him… or how he ended up in Wilmington, NC from Jersey….
Maybe he was in the mob...
omg you guys
at my current temporary gig, i was given the option of overtime (which 15 hours of basically doubles my weekly earnings [not my take home]). so i’m all “i’m up in this!!! w00t!!!!!!”
but this is the thing — i’m thisclose to throttling one of the women who works with me. she talks over people. she’s inane. she has a comment on everything (to how red i...
at what age do you become a cougar?
bowlingalleylawyer:
theverbald:
bowlingalleylawyer:
HA! well my greatest age difference was when I was 30 and was dating my glorious Kiwi baseballer who was 22. My ex is 6 years younger and I will be 40 in 4 weeks.
I seriously have to find out how old Gym Crush is….
i think that if you find out he’s 26, and sleep with him before your birthday, you’re in the clear ;)
seriously though, the...
at what age do you become a cougar?
bowlingalleylawyer:
theverbald:
bowlingalleylawyer:
or is more to do with the age difference as opposed to just age?
my friends and i were pondering this same question not two weeks ago, and the men we were with said that 1. you must be at least a decade older than the younger man and 2. there is no such thing as a cougar under 38. Nevertheless, we also decided that a 38 yr. old woman dating...
at what age do you become a cougar?
bowlingalleylawyer:
or is more to do with the age difference as opposed to just age?
my friends and i were pondering this same question not two weeks ago, and the men we were with said that 1. you must be at least a decade older than the younger man and 2. there is no such thing as a cougar under 38. Nevertheless, we also decided that a 38 yr. old woman dating a 28 yr old man cannot be described...
Homebrewing.
muppetpants:
Just bought a recipe for a Bell’s Two Hearted Ale clone. One week for shipping, six weeks for brewing. Anticipation.
i heart bells two hearted. and oberon should be coming out soon too! now i’m jealous, but not really, since bells is again distributed here.
i love being a contract attorney
me: today, a consultant came into the pod (you know, because that's where i work) and was showing potential clients about how contract attys worked and said, "we don't tell them much because they don't need to know." and "the most expensive thing in this room is the chair." and "they can't get anything better."
and i fought the urge to cry all day
like we weren't even in the room
Friend B: unbelievable
me: or we were too fucking stupid to hear/understand what he was saying
i was slapped with the "useless" stick today
me: the worst part is
i can't complain to anyone about it at work
like, if this were a normal environment, if someone said "yeah, that janitor's mop is worth more than their weekly salary" you'd have sensitivity training all up in that place
not for people like us
Friend B: right
me: so to add on top of that
thelma asked the same question (i kid you not) 140 times
it was a simple issue; if the documents you are looking at seem to have been already looked at and coded, ignore them, and make your own call
me: apparently she didn't understand that "make your own call" means "don't ask questions about it," "pick one and move on," "seriously, it's probs wrong in the first place," and "for the love of god woman just do your fucking job." for the rest of the afternoon my face was contorted with anger, broken only by the sweet pucker of holding back tears of frustration
Friend B: can you sneak in liquor?
me: i probably could have a fucking handle of vodka on my desk and no one would care
since i'm worth less than a chair and all
sometimes
i really want to write a manifesto… re: law school and the economy and futures and tradable goods and the government’s role. most days, i’m lucky if i get to the gym, read my email and respond, scan my ‘reader,’ feed my cats, and not punch someone. ah whatevs, that’s an ambitious day… but this is the thing about manifestos - you have to have a...
